Archive for the ‘Voiceless’ Category


“Well, when one’s lost, I suppose it’s good advice to stay where you are until someone finds you.” ~Lewis Carroll


Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

                   The very winds whispered in soothing accents, and maternal Nature bade me weep no more. ~Mary Shelley

Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

Thou seest how sloth wastes the sluggish body, as water is corrupted unless it moves. ~Ovid



Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

Step with care and great tact ,and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. ~Dr. Seuss



Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.

~Edward Abbey

Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

Each time I post this quote, it touches one of my reader’s heart. “I needed to read that.” ~ The usual response. Here’s for anyone who needs closure…It’s time to move forward and begin anew. No more living in the fog.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” ~Dr. Seuss


Foto by Iliana

Foto by Iliana

                                                “Truth, like light, blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object.”

~Albert Camus

Day @ El Farito.

sleigh bells ring

Are you listening?

And to all a good night!

Certain Slant of Light

Emily Dickinson, a 19th Century American Poet, once wrote about winter afternoons like these. Afternoons where the light shined upon the earth in a quite particular way, provoking a sort of calm but at the same time dispirited mode within one’s being. The poem’s name was Certain Slant of Light. This particular poem caught my attention because the words read as though I wrote them. I had felt that slant of light on winter afternoons. When I took this picture, I could have sat down and written these words at that very moment cause that’s how I felt too. I understood this misunderstood poem lamenting what could be and how, at times, the Universe gives us an angle, a fractal time-like state where light shines upon reality. Go figure. Many interpretations exist; regardless, the poem is genius. Dickinson was a poet ahead of her time, leaving the world with so many thought-provoking moments of her life. This picture represents one of those moments that although captivating…

…There’s a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.

Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.

None may teach it anything,
‘Tis the seal, despair,-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.

When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, ‘t is like the distance
On the look of death.

~Emily Dickinson, Certain Slant of Light

winter solstice 2014

5:30 p.m. December 21, 2014, Doral, Florida. It is the first day of winter; it looks like this in my part of the world. Mesmerizing skies. Lost in them I find tremendous comfort and peace.

Mom continues to battle the illness that has taken away quality of life. Dad and I, by her side, battling also. We are thankful, however, each day we wake up and have another day to enjoy her company–another day for hugs, kisses and tears. Dad and I cherish these days more than anything.

I’d like to wish all of you a blessed winter season.

~The White Rabbit



Within I ventured to discover a world unknown…



No beginning and no end…just a continuation of geometric patterns, enchanting the visual senses.


Light HouseIn front of me, like a beacon of hope, erect and pointing to the heavens above…



Floated above them, sharp jagged edges … beyond, the satin-like sea rippled by the soft breeze.



Best philosophizing in such places there be on certain occasions…

mountain view 1

Clouds forming momentum for the deluge…

Early Morning

Appreciating what is…


sis and i

A dream-like state…that’s how life has been for the last few months. Mom began feeling weakness on her left side and her ability to function diminished quite quickly. After a scan and MRI, the cause was finally determined: Brain cancer. Wednesday, she underwent surgery to remove the pear-shaped entity. We were told that she had only three months to live if she did not undergo the procedure and up to a year if she did. We were also told after the surgery she would remain in an induced coma for about two to three days. The above picture was taken at the hospital by my brother-in-law as my sister and I paced the hallways, praying. My mom is now recovering. She came out of surgery without having to be induced into a coma. We were told she would never be the same again. The future appeared bleak. We thought we had lost her. Miracles happen. Just a few hours after the surgery, mom was conscious and in good spirits, smiling, recognizing all of us, by name even, asking for food. Weak but with her radiant personality in tact. Her follow up scan and MRI revealed that the surgeon had removed almost all of the malignancy. What remains will be sustained/controlled with two weeks of chemo-therapy. Her lifespan may be longer than expected. At this point, we are taking each day as a miracle and gift, enjoying her presence ever so much. My mom is the strongest willed person I’ve known, always laughing and in good spirits, she continues–we hope for a long time. For now, we live in the moment, appreciating each second with her, thanking the higher power and all of you who helped my mom during this very hard period. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you. We ask for your continued prayers and support.

Blessed be always, Iliana

Once, I thought it was necessary to wear a mask in order to achieve the ever so elusive American Dream. As a child, conversations at the abode centered around what I’ve come to know is but a myth if competition isn’t your thing. To assimilate into the elite way of life was mandatory. Damned you were if you dare make waves. My specialty was tsunamis. For some reason, I was not made up of the stuff my folks were made of. I was that broken part of the contraption. Thanks for my grand pop and grand ma who always stood in the way of the whack in the head or butt I was about to get due to my inappropriateness. Little did I know my parents were just indoctrinating me into society to ensure I became compliant yet competitive enough to survive it. Each time, they failed, which ultimately meant I failed. To this day, there are times I question my choices, knowing quite well it is the path of no things, no mask and no path.

Cursed? Blessed? To be able to honestly say like Robert Frost that each and every time I’ve been at crossed roads I have chosen the road less travel may make me sound like a pompous ass. Let me assure you that such a path leads you far from haughtiness, if it is the path that pertains to spiritual growth. I say spiritual to simplify a complex process that I’d be a liar if I stated I knew how the heck it worked. All I know that a road less taken leads not to the success as defined by the elite. Henry David Thoreau understood this. He once wrote about it. Simplicity. Simplify. He was especially pissed off about taxation of the people. But aren’t we all. Thoreau like me was just theorizing–and venting in a scholarly way. Unlike Thoreau, I don’t have the luxury of experimenting, rustically living in the woods with benefits as he did. He had friends and family coming over, helping him. Though I’m certain especially to collect and spread gossip. And, I tend to be vulgar though in a scholarly way. 😉

One fine August day, one specific person dared put a mirror in front of me. I saw my ego. I thought I was my self not my ego. This person awakened me to the fact that I was a big, fat ugly ego that had taken over my true self. I was wearing a mask. This event through me into cognizant dissonance, which I still suffer from at times.. I was not who I thought I was; I thought I was good and that evil could never get a hold of me. I was wrong. Yes. I had good in me but never had I thought I had evil within me also. This person reflected me, a painting of a stochastic and broken female without a culture, without a personality. He illustrated that my world was full of confusion and fragmentation. Further, the world I had thought was but illusion. That was the first time I jumped into The Rabbit Hole. It was the beginning of the White Rabbit. That era has passed and a new begun. When the crossroads were in view, I chose the road less traveled. My fiction, Exit 13, attempts to illustrate this era of my life in although most is fiction combined with some truths.

According to my theory, my world view, it is my choices at cross-roads that determines the further dissemination of the ego or it may determine its strengthening. Again, these are theories, thoughts formed by reading the writing of great thinkers of both past and present. Some of these are present in my book of essays, of which there are three. The current book I’m working on, The Nature of Human Nature, theorizes on a possible reason the human race has dehumanized because the ego, who is supposed to be the slave to the self, has taken over and led the human race astray. Nothing can be done to fix the immoral and unethical predicaments on the planet unless, as many great theorists of past and present have written, we go within. What does that mean? Soon I will write more on this topic and it will be the topic of the book mentioned above. What topic? A topic that discusses that originally, the self was the master and the ego was the slave. This book was inspired by the writings of Jean Jacques Rousseau on Amour de Soi and Amour Propre. It should be out shortly on Amazon Kindle as are the rest of the books.

I’ve digressed. The point: As theorized and practiced by notable thinkers of past and present, the road less taken does not lead to material riches. No. This is the road of the humble similar to all those who have chosen the path of no path–and no mask. It is the road where the Self is the master and the Ego the student.

Eye in the Sky





Save the Internet share image

Been following this story for a while now because the Internet is important to me. I rested a few days and came back to this horrid news that steps are in place by the FCC to kill Internet neutrality. I’ve provided the link below and at the end of this post, there are more links. I’ve found the energy to read and research today. I beg you do the same if the Internet means anything to you because C-H-A-N-G-E is coming. Your access to the Internet will be limited. Yes…more limitations upon us.

After much thought that began even before today, I find that I digressed when I last evolved on the blogosphere because I feared confrontation. Sometimes one must take a step backwards to go forward. Confrontation? Now I squash it. How? I won’t read it and will delete any posts I deem inappropriate. So, I will begin doing what it is I wanted to do with blogging–open eyes through my Rabbit Hole, which is here. Yes. You are in my Rabbit Hole. But, you are only in the top portion. All the juicy stuff is a bit deeper. In fact, and as you well know, the deeper you go, the juicier it gets. It is all up to you.

Yes. We all want to see only the beautiful, feel only the uplifting, but the ability to do these things for many folks is becoming more difficult due to freedoms and rights taken away. I know because I’ve seen it; I’ve experienced it and am still experiencing it. All societies, cultures, peoples are broken. We are leading the planet to destruction and our death, ultimately. That is Truth. Harsh. Absolutely. The Harsh Truth! Thus, I can no longer only post fantasy. I will do it since magic is still alive. But, we must realize that this magic is dwindling because of the poison that is spreading ever so quickly, exponentially, throughout our world. We are at a critical point as a race, species, or whatever it is we are.

I’ve always meant for this blog to reflect who I am, and who I am is far from a perfect angel and butterfly that spreads light. Yes! Absolutely, I would love to do those things, and I have proven that I have. But, I must also be aware of what is broken and spread the word in order to find those like me who will help in the fixing up of our spiraling out of control world, society–everything! We need to strengthen the magic. Let me remind you that Beauty is found in the revealing of the Ugly; Truth is found in the revealing of the Lies. To get to that Magic, we must tread through darkness. We must eliminate Fear. We must be full of energy–the energy you spend on the frivolous and unnecessary.

Although I’m not well health wise, like Rachel Carson and others like her who were ill but followed through on revealing the ugliness and the lies so that Beauty and Truth would endure, so will I do. I’m in that process of evolving again, branching out. But, I will not follow the popular crowd or the crowd that gets you to a comfy lifestyle. You see, that’s a lie that only perpetuates the myth that our world, society are okay. Too many wrongs witnessed is proof enough for me. It should be for all but fear of losing that comfy lifestyle interferes. It is understandable since I’ve been there–I lost that lifestyle. My health problem now stems from taking that road less traveled as my friend Frost would say. My life is hard. But, I can sleep soundly knowing I walk alone in my search for Beauty and Truth, in the search for myself. I do what must be done without expecting honor, awards or whatever it is the ego craves. I want none of that. I need the Beauty and Truth that lies within me in order to find the Magic. Or, better said, in order to make that Magic grow and destroy the Ugly Darkness of Lies that lead to Evil, which to me is war, any kind whether with other countries, friends, peers, or family. War is war. Fixing the state of being for the human race necessitates a move within. Has it not been written so many times by great thinkers of times past and present to know thyself? Well, to know thyself, it is necessary to go within. It’s where the magic lives and waits for us.

I’ve decided to change the content of my blog because I cannot sleep soundly knowing our kids are killing other kids, family, friends; I cannot sleep soundly knowing that something horribly wrong has happened, is happening and will continue to happen with humanity, society, our planet. If you watch the news, shit, if you just go outside, you see it. It’s everywhere, this violence. It’s what society thrives on and perpetuates–violence, punishment and death. Societies appear to have always been this way. We as a race have not humanized one ounce when it comes to war or evolving into decent human beings–I say as a “race.” As a race, we are despicable. Dress it up with different clothes, but war is still war; violence is still violence, whether passive or not. We have wars amongst countries, states, cities, families, peers, friends, animals and everything/anything that gets in our way of pleasure–war is our thing and people are quite good at it. I can’t even say we are “humans” because it is not humane to live in such a way. Hey, I’m guilty. My own family is entwined in war. Fight after fight because of “things”. I had to step aside because the poison was beginning to bubble in my veins. I couldn’t do it. It happened at work–people at war with each other, stabbing each other in the back to get where? Ahead? Ha! Heartless. I’m sick of it. I know a lot of you are. Join me in going within. Follow the White Rabbit.

We are a race that struggles to survive instead of a race that lives to flourish. Yes, Beauty and Truth still exist, but slowly, the Ugliness and the Lies allow for the killing of such Beauty and Truth. I’m speaking generalities, but I will provide specifics. You will know the White Rabbit and why she became so. Or, you may just wish to fuck off. It’s fine with me. I need followers with balls, followers who are not afraid to go within and see what they really are. Welcome to the real world. This is me cause I’m sick and tired of Ugly and the Lies, which lead to the Wars. Perhaps I have gone totally mad…ahh…that’s why I live in a hole and call myself the White Rabbit. I only come out when I have something to show or illustrate. When I first started this blog, some of you may recall, I was passionate about revealing the ugly and the lies. It was after the ghastly shootings at an elementary school that I stood back, shocked that some fuck head would actually dare tell me that what I meant by my post pertaining to the shooting was that the kids deserved what they got. Imagine. It hurt me. I almost deactivated the blog. But, I did not. Instead, I rode out my severe depression–a depression that arose because I allowed some thoughtless jerk to kill my magic. I was afraid of such confrontation again so decided to post my photographs, a hobby that also illustrates my love for landscapes and the magical. I continued posting quotes from my favorites. In short, I got up again. This occurred in December of 2012, if my memory serves me correctly. It is time to evolve again. And, this time, I’m not going to be nice, and I give two shits about what anyone thinks. Come shoot me and do me a favor.

Generally, I’m kind-hearted and nice to the point of naïvete. I will continue to be so, but with my new acquired passion to help people go within, to face the ego and go beyond it to where the true self waits to pour the magic of fairies all over you. Your eyes will see in a way you never thought you could. But, I warn you. Hope you will not find there. Magic? Yes. But, along with the Magic, like in any fairytale, lurks the evil. Evil wants to rule. Hope will not save us but Magic will. And, you will know Magic when you walk side by side with the White Rabbit who walks alone now, trying to go through that needle’s eye. Join me.

Enough said for now. I need to jump into my rabbit hole. You’ve followed me so far…are you willing to continue? You and I may not be able to in the future if the Internet goes bye-bye. Think about that. Blessed be and we will Merry Meet again. 😉

Kiss the Internet Goodbye?

If you go to the bottom of this post, you will find the links to the Huffington and the Washington Post for your review. This will affect all of us, especially those strapped for cash. The following link is from Reuters

Breaking news: The FCC just took the first step toward killing Net Neutrality, by moving ahead with a plan to divide the Internet into a fast lane for the 1% and a slow lane for the rest of us.1  

But we can still win the fight for an open Internet. MoveOn members and allies have already succeeded in getting a real solution on the table: to reclassify the Internet as a public utility like drinking water—making it equally accessible to all.2 For the next 60 days the FCC will take public comments on the proposal. We have 60 days to win by doubling down on our campaign now. 

Can you chip in $3 today to ramp up our campaign to save the Internet?

As FCC Commissioner Mignon Clyburn said, “the real call to action begins after the vote today. This is your opportunity to formally make your points on the record. You have the ear of the entire FCC.”3

And we’re doing just that. MoveOn members are literally in the streets at 19 local FCC offices across the country right now—sending shockwaves through the FCC bureaucracy.

But to keep this campaign going for the next 60 days, we need to raise $150,000 to launch the next phase.

With the support of MoveOn members, we will:

  • Drive phone calls to the White House so that President Obama has to hold FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler accountable for his promise to protect Net Neutrality—building on the thousands of calls members have already made


  • Launch a new round of ads to raise awareness of what’s at stake and continue to pressure President Obama and Chairman Wheeler


  • Deliver thousands of public comments to the FCC in support of the real solution—treating the Internet as a public utility 


  • Continue to amplify the more than 10,000 personal stories from MoveOn members who would be hurt if the FCC adopts this plan 

We know that corporations like Verizon and Comcast aren’t going to sit this out. They will be deploying their lobbyists and putting their money behind killing Net Neutrality. But we have already proven that MoveOn members can fight back, if we do it together. 

We’ve come this far—can you chip in $3 to keep fighting for a free and open Internet? 

Yes, I can contribute $3.

Together we’ll make sure the FCC feels enough sustained public pressure that there is no way they can kill Net Neutrality.

Thanks for all you do.

–Maria, Manny, Joan, Garlin, and the rest of the team


1. “FCC approves plan to consider paid priority on Internet,” The Washington Post, May 15, 2014

2. Ibid.

3. “FCC Votes For Plan To Kill Net Neutrality,” Huffington Post, May 15, 2014

My dear followers, friends and all,

This will be my last post for a while. The White Rabbit is experiencing health issues that need addressing–or not. Dear. I’m quite a mess at the moment. Blogging has been a form of therapy that has been good while I was stable. However, I feel myself slipping and must rest a while. Fatigue and pain overwhelm my physical, mental and spiritual bodies. Thank you to all of those who have followed, encouraged and supported my journey. My appreciation is mammoth. For now, much care I must take, but I do hope to see you all soon. Until then, visit and help yourself to past posts. You will see an evolution of how my blog evolved. When I return, I guarantee the blog will evolve once again since I am at one of those moments where life branches. In my case of stochastic tendencies, where I end up is anybody’s guess. Blessed be until we merry meet…Iliana the White Rabbit.



Cave of Amber


Shifting Shadows

Silhouettes of Dancing Time

~Voiceless in America

Juana la Cubana-Americana Jersey Girl Trash Rated R-Over 18 Only, Please..

Land of the Free.

In the Clouds

During the last few days, I have posted some excerpts from my soon to be published fiction, Exit 13: A Collection of Short Cultural & Psychological Pieces. Below is another excerpt. The book cover reveal was due on October 31, 2013 but some unexpected problems arose. If all goes as expected, the cover reveal will occur sometime before the end of this year, and the actual book will publish around the same time. Another book, Baker Acted, is in the works–the cover reveal should be sometime before spring–again, if all goes as planned. Thank you to those who continue their dedicated visits to my blog and to those who continue to comment/like–it is greatly appreciated and to ya’ll I give thanks!

“My name is Juana la Cubana. For the last 31 years, in exile I have lived, far from where I was born in Santiago de Cuba on the 26th of July, 1962, year of our Lord. My stay on the island was short-lived. Never would have imagined what the Universe had in stored. About six years after my birth, on an airplane were we, my mother and me. It flew us to Mexico, our stepping stone to America–land of the free–where on the New Jersey turnpike we would be taking exit 13. 1968 was the year we became Cubans in exile, and after many a mile, what great things to be seen awaited us on our way to achieving the American Dream.
My country too, was a stepping stone–what could have been my patria, my fatherland, remains cloudy for me. What is known? Elizabeth, New Jersey–from there I’m home-grown. It’s found in America–the land of the free. This is the place I know–breathed, inhaled–and injected–this place in my blood flows. My DNA, adapted, regenerated and evolved into something else that while remaining the same at the core, changed at the surface, and became something more. Americanization spread throughout my body so quickly and densely that it set the Cuban seed into a dormant frenzy.”

Copyright 2013 by Iliana C. Hakes-Martinez

In Cuba “Todo era diferente”.

kennedy space center

“Fragmented moments remain–moments ingrained with things pained. Shocking my being with images past, keeping them for eternity to last. Moments like when my parents told me that it was important to understand that to wear la panoleta–that darn scarf that made be barf–meant commitment to the patria, the fatherland. This was something that could not be, to wear that panoleta since my mother and I, we would be leaving the island soon to the land of the free, but if I wore that panoleta, America I would never see. That’s what I thought then in 1960, a six year old Cuban female exile to be.

On that quite strange day, in the first grade, when still a young child living in Santiago de Cuba, our plans to leave the island almost went astray. At school, while preparing to go on a school trip, all students were told that if they wanted to go, they were required to wear that panoleta. This included me who was as terrified as could be–terrified and wanting desperately to flee to that land of the free!

Mrs. Garcia had politely said, “Here you go Juanita. Por favor, ponte el panuelito.” She handed me that panoleta, telling me to put it on. Panic. Anxiety. Things I could see were so wrong, especially if I didn’t play along. My parents’ prior words echoed loudly in my head, pounding me with dread. The predicament I was in looked very grim–my chances were truly slim. Panic. Gagging. Breathe. Respira. Breath. Respira.

My teacher yelled for help, “Socorro! Socorro!” This girl is turning as purple as a beet; please call her parents, quickly, they live just across the street. Feeling my mother’s presence, easing up as she hugged me and uttered the following sentence, “Mi vida. No te preocupes. Ponte el panuelo. Si podras salir.” “My dear,” she had whispered, “do not worry. Put on the scarf–go on…hurry.” In the background, dad had looked on, smiling a reassured warmness. Softly he had said, “En este caso, mi amor, segimos nuestros pasos.” Father was certain that in this case, we would continue our pace. “Go and have fun. Go on. Run.” All was okay. Put on the scarf; we will leave–don’t dismay.

Sobs. Sniffles. Silence and onlookers. Twenty minutes of coaxing, hesitantly, putting on the darn scarf. Confused, but feeling better. I went on the field trip, wearing that panoleta y despues la tire para el suelo–And, later…I threw that darn scarf on the floor ’cause I did not want it no more.”

~Copyright 2013 by Iliana Hakes-Martinez

Memory Lane: The 80’s by Voiceless.

A long time ago, the songwriter masters, the Beatles, composed a tune titled, “There Are Places I Remember.” I cherish this song for various reasons. For one, it was the chosen high school graduation song. For another, pure and simply, it is a nostalgia jerker. Each time the melodious frequencies enter my audio realm, they transport me back through space and time. “For these places have their moments….” When coupled with this photo I took in 1984, boom! I’m back in time. I remember it was September, a cool, crisp day–overcast and hinting at the coming change of seasons. As I sat on the porch, something urged me to fetch my camera–and I did, seizing and freezing the moment in time. The place: Linden, New Jersey. The street: McGilvray Place. This was my first place after leaving home; it is the place where I learned a lot about life. This is one place I often remember fondly.

Grandma's BloomNot knowing right from wrong; always searching for some sense–finding no-thing no-sense. Strained with pain–things unsaid; tongue twisted tainted distress. Vast Voiceless void of being–world of words whirling within–seeing. Spewing forth my voice; exalting resounding feeling. ~Voiceless in America