Once, I thought it was necessary to wear a mask in order to achieve the ever so elusive American Dream. As a child, conversations at the abode centered around what I’ve come to know is but a myth if competition isn’t your thing. To assimilate into the elite way of life was mandatory. Damned you were if you dare make waves. My specialty was tsunamis. For some reason, I was not made up of the stuff my folks were made of. I was that broken part of the contraption. Thanks for my grand pop and grand ma who always stood in the way of the whack in the head or butt I was about to get due to my inappropriateness. Little did I know my parents were just indoctrinating me into society to ensure I became compliant yet competitive enough to survive it. Each time, they failed, which ultimately meant I failed. To this day, there are times I question my choices, knowing quite well it is the path of no things, no mask and no path.
Cursed? Blessed? To be able to honestly say like Robert Frost that each and every time I’ve been at crossed roads I have chosen the road less travel may make me sound like a pompous ass. Let me assure you that such a path leads you far from haughtiness, if it is the path that pertains to spiritual growth. I say spiritual to simplify a complex process that I’d be a liar if I stated I knew how the heck it worked. All I know that a road less taken leads not to the success as defined by the elite. Henry David Thoreau understood this. He once wrote about it. Simplicity. Simplify. He was especially pissed off about taxation of the people. But aren’t we all. Thoreau like me was just theorizing–and venting in a scholarly way. Unlike Thoreau, I don’t have the luxury of experimenting, rustically living in the woods with benefits as he did. He had friends and family coming over, helping him. Though I’m certain especially to collect and spread gossip. And, I tend to be vulgar though in a scholarly way. 😉
One fine August day, one specific person dared put a mirror in front of me. I saw my ego. I thought I was my self not my ego. This person awakened me to the fact that I was a big, fat ugly ego that had taken over my true self. I was wearing a mask. This event through me into cognizant dissonance, which I still suffer from at times.. I was not who I thought I was; I thought I was good and that evil could never get a hold of me. I was wrong. Yes. I had good in me but never had I thought I had evil within me also. This person reflected me, a painting of a stochastic and broken female without a culture, without a personality. He illustrated that my world was full of confusion and fragmentation. Further, the world I had thought was but illusion. That was the first time I jumped into The Rabbit Hole. It was the beginning of the White Rabbit. That era has passed and a new begun. When the crossroads were in view, I chose the road less traveled. My fiction, Exit 13, attempts to illustrate this era of my life in although most is fiction combined with some truths.
According to my theory, my world view, it is my choices at cross-roads that determines the further dissemination of the ego or it may determine its strengthening. Again, these are theories, thoughts formed by reading the writing of great thinkers of both past and present. Some of these are present in my book of essays, of which there are three. The current book I’m working on, The Nature of Human Nature, theorizes on a possible reason the human race has dehumanized because the ego, who is supposed to be the slave to the self, has taken over and led the human race astray. Nothing can be done to fix the immoral and unethical predicaments on the planet unless, as many great theorists of past and present have written, we go within. What does that mean? Soon I will write more on this topic and it will be the topic of the book mentioned above. What topic? A topic that discusses that originally, the self was the master and the ego was the slave. This book was inspired by the writings of Jean Jacques Rousseau on Amour de Soi and Amour Propre. It should be out shortly on Amazon Kindle as are the rest of the books.
I’ve digressed. The point: As theorized and practiced by notable thinkers of past and present, the road less taken does not lead to material riches. No. This is the road of the humble similar to all those who have chosen the path of no path–and no mask. It is the road where the Self is the master and the Ego the student.